“The third table where I would sit comfortably”: narratives of nonbinary identity routes

Background: Research on nonbinary people has been growing steadily. However, most studies have focused on gender identity development in binary cisgender or transgender populations, and there is a lack of knowledge about the experiences and milestones of nonbinary identification, including the many challenges of living in a binary world. In Italy, nonbinary individuals are exposed to various forms of discrimination and face multiple forms of invisibility—linguistic, social, and legal. Aim: The present study aimed to explore the complex experiences of Italian individuals who do not identify with either of the binary gender categories, shedding light on the processes of awareness of their nonbinary identity. Methods: Twenty nonbinary participants, aged 19 to 36 years, were administered a semi-structured interview that was explicitly created for this study. The Consensual Qualitative Research methodology was applied to the transcripts of the interviews. Results: The research delineated four domains: growing up in a binary world, referring to retrospective descriptions of gender normativity and lack of models; gender dysphoria, referring to descriptions related to body and social gender dysphoria; nonbinary awareness, referring to the influence of sexual and romantic relationships, friendships and aggregative spaces, as well as social media, traditional media and literary works—all contributing to the process of personal identity synthesis; and looking forward, referring to the tension of imagining an identity that is constantly evolving (i.e. fantasies and desires of medical and gender-affirming interventions, negative expectations regarding the future, and self-realization). Conclusion: In societies with a binary understanding of gender, nonbinary individuals face complex challenges and must use multiple strategies to negotiate and express their identities. A deeper understanding of the processes of awareness of gender identity in this population may help to improve clinical practice with gender minoritized individuals.